I’ve learned to keep my focus on the goal of connecting with the Creator, no matter what it looks like outside of me so that I can grow my point in the heart and that it doesn’t have to feel good to be good! And don’t give up if we are not understanding or going through a dark period.
I had to leave the church I was going to…a Catholic Church which was my childhood religion. It was a new church and someone was consistently attacking me. I was very vulnerable because my daughter had just died. I tried to make peace with this person and I could no longer take it. I began to be afraid of going to church so my husband and I finally left. I feel much better. I. saw many things in myself but at the end I felt I was allowing myself to be abused for the sake of belonging. No one stepped up to try and stop it. No one wanted to be involved. It was painful for me to leave as we are living in a new town however I also feel better. I also am confused about my feelings. The whole ritual seemed childish unfulfilling to me with little glimpses of light. Perhaps I was hoping I could me someone there that I could discuss all these feelings I had but there wasn’t anyone. I don’t see how you can stay in a religion or church that seems immature and childish to you while at the same time you wish you had such simple faith but you are no longer there. How do handle this confusion? Is it egosm on my part? I just don’t fit in there, either does my husband? Are we being judgemental? Don’t our feelings of rejection count?
Hello, My name is Madelainne. I began studying Kabbalah little by little about 2 years ago and found Kabu and I found our way to each other a few months ago. I am really enjoying studying and can see the results after a very challenging couple of years. I am thankful.
I generally feel happier. I made a big choice in my life that was quite scary for me. However, I realized that I was absolutely being guided to make the leap. I feel freer now…I know it was the right choice and my life has expanded.