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Hi Arian,
Try to ask a clear question that is one sentence and ends with a question mark. You remind me of how confused I was, as I was trying to understand with my intelligence. The Upper Light will work and that’s what will help you understand. For now, you’re assumptions are all wrong, but when the Light works, everything will be shifted into focus, and all your efforts will count towards your attainment. Only the efforts will count. The rest will be done from Above.
When are our feeling in this state? Never.
We are in a state that is long before this. When will we be totally above the desires of Malchut?
We are immersed in the desires of Malchut. We have never experienced something else.
There are not so many questions to ask, in fact you have just one question at a time. And more important than the answer is one’s scrutiny of “what is the question I have?”
The right question is, “What is the meaning of my life? Why have I wasted it? Why did I waste my whole life on questions that don’t matter one bit? How is it that my will to receive is thus leading me to my grave, and I will die without attaining the purpose of my existence and be born again to answer this question if I don’t, in this lifetime, arrive at the right answer?”
It’s not basic. 4 phases humanity goes through, the whole universe goes through, and every particle in it goes through. It’s hard for us to grasp how these paradoxically all belong to one thing, though. There’s no such thing as an individual. It’s an illusion.
It’s not exactly how you’re organizing these things, but it’s ok. Maybe this will help clarify: https://laitman.com/2012/12/the-art-of-working-in-the-middle-line/#gsc.tab=0
