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Are you asking what is the purpose of me taking these courses?
I want to learn how nature works so I can live correctly since I am a manifestation of Nature that has been poisoned. The poison is hurting me and I wish to be healed.
The creature must be brought to fulfillment through a process of development so that by the time we grew into it we would know the whole process from bottom to top and appreciate it once we got there independently through free will.
I want to learn how nature works so I can live properly. More than that I want to be with people I can relate to; others to share this perception with.
What I will take with me for the rest of the day more than anything else was the quote from Baal HaSulam from Completion of the Zohar stating that the Creator does not think about himself and one who does will never reach Equivalence of Form. I deeply desire to be in a state where I am not dwelling on myself because it makes my chest hurt when I do. I will try to put myself in situations that force my attention beyond myself. Though it seems impossible not to be self-conscious.
