The best part of the last course for me was the part about the role of the ego in the group and how it helps in our development. After years of thinking I was supposed to be getting rid of the ego and working to that end, this course really highlighted the fact that my ego is as big as it ever was. It showed me how tricky the ego can be. It makes you think it’s shrinking but it’s like squeezing a balloon. It’s just popped up somewhere else and is filling itself with something else without me noticing. I can see it clearly now. For that l’m thankful.
Does this part that resists become even more resistant after joining the group? If so, will I still be able to recognise it and over-ride it’s influence? Currently the part that wants to do the work is stronger but will this stay the case?
Sorry I have so many questions and thank you for your answers
Is it possible to notice internal changes before entering a group? I’m asking because until I started on this part of the course there was no resistance to the study, but now as it approaches the time to enter a group and start the real work, I can feel a lot of internal resistance. A growing part of me wants to run away and another wants to dive into the work. Is this normal? What is happening here?