Hi. My name is Niklas, and I have actually already completed the introductory courses. I aborted back then because of health issues, but was recently pulled to Kabbalah again. I find it very interesting, and I want to go through the courses again.
By being in the group and studying with them. By that our points in the heart join with each other and form one big point in the heart that nourishes the whole group. (I think.)
While watching these videos, I felt very unmotivated. However, I still watched them. After a while, suddenly something shifted inside and I felt very motivated to keep watching.
Is this what is meant by “a light begins to shine in the darkness”?
It feels like I have to cling to a higher part of myself to keep going and the more I keep going, something below gets darker and more intense in negativity. At the most intense point then, it is like it is being reversed and suddenly everything is great again. Like a black hole turning into a white hole or something.
Are these the continuous “ascents and descents” that Kabbalah talks about?
I might have had some experiences with this “seeking of truth above pleasure and pain”. It is the sweet opening of something outside me that comes, when I direct my thoughts towards bringing pleasure to others. It is not really that it is rewarding per se. It is more like “doing it is enough for the sake of doing it”. In that, everything is already good.
Currently, my life is blowing up (positively) on all imaginable fronts. Dude! Currently, I am just working off my task list from morning to night. I work according to the following priorities:
1. Getting the new (amazing) job (neither praised nor condemned)
2. Study a bit of Kabbalah each day
3. Everything else
Thank you very much and I am very excited to soon join you in the Graduate Environment.