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It is to understand that reality is not what I perceive it to be in my corporeal self. I am the one who must adjust my perception to match the Creator’s.
I remember the very moment I sensed true freedom. I was going through a brutal business audit. For 6 months before the dreaded phone call, I had been listening to Rabbi Nachman of Breslev’s teachings on Azamra (I will sing) and Ain Od Milvado (there is no one else but Him). Suddenly, I realized that this knowledge of wisdom I had been adding to my toolbox had been for that very moment in my life. That feeling of His Sovereignty over every aspect of my life, the acknowledgment that everything came from Him was the most freeing. The ups and the downs, the light and the darkness, the health and the sickness, the comfort and the pain: all came from Him. It was not happening TO me. It was happening FOR me.
This may not be the textbook definition, but for me, it represents the beginning of an incredible journey.
As I was reading about the intention while reading, being the only way to understand kabbalistic books, I began to wonder if my intentions were correct because I found the texts harder to understand this week…. Maybe I am trying to understand them by the power of my intellect rather than through yearning? How do I know if I am truly yearning or if I am proceeding because of curiosity about the subject?
