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More thoughts: I realize that there is a lot of pain that goes along with this change of perspective. Since for me this change from egoism to altruism is accompanied by the pain of losing something, whatever that is, material, emotional, psychological, illusions, etc. To do the correct thing to give rather than receive sometimes hurts badly. Egoism appears to not give way without a nasty fight, much frustration, and painful self-knowledge. Not an easy thing especially when it is turned into action rather than just an idea or ideal. This can be for me very very difficult around things that matter deeply.
An egoistic perception of reality is an experience for me of walking along in my own movie. I am the star, the director, and the voiceover narrator. While perception based on bestowal is rather a documentary with all the emotion and close up faces and connections.
The best moments were the sudden moments of understanding after walking through a swamp of confusion.
I am keeping myself from looking ahead. I like to be surprised. It sounds a bit silly but I enjoy the suspense. It is like a cliff hanger.
I was impressed by the course organization, method of instruction, and quality of the materials.
Favorite quote: I see that all the afflictions the Creator sent were so that I would have a place to work above reason.
I love that concept of above reason. It speaks to that nasty little Know it all voice in my head.
I have found the level of my egoism shocking, and also my strident introversion a huge problem that certainly needs the corrections I have been struggling with.
