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We can’t imagine the desires that are concealed from us any more than a small child can imagine the desire for caviar, cognac, delivering well one’s PhD dissertation, etc. But you’re right that the desires to use bestowal in order to receive are incomparably greater, a billion times greater, than the animal pleasures of food, sex, family, money, power, honor and knowledge that we’ve experienced in our lives in this world.
It sounds like studying a bit here even strengthened your faith in your religion, that there is the right place for you. I would also be happy that someone was able to become even more satisfied with their own approach, by seeing ours. We teach the method of Baal HaSulam and Rabash, as best as we understand it, and that’s why it’s going to stay as-is.
The Sefirot in AK go in the same order as the 4 Phases of Direct Light. So, Galgalta, AB, SAG, MA BON correspond to Keter, Hochma, Bina, Zeir Anpin, Malchut.
Try it as you’re saying, see if it works. That’s the only way to know if it’s correct. Meaning if the goal is not to attain the Upper World while still alive in this world, as surely and concretely as being born into our world, with 5 new senses, then presumably the goal is something else, which we’re not after here, and so there’s nothing to talk about. But if that is the goal, then you do have to choose one place, one method, and you will have to nevertheless exchange all your internal values, since all of those come from the will to receive, and therefore they are inherently flawed, and rather the opposite of all of them is the case, if from a will to receive I want to invert to a will to bestow, the opposite property of the Creator – as Baal HaSulam says, we are the will to receive “without a shred of bestowal” and He is the opposite, the Will to Receive without a shred of reception. This takes into account one’s mind, heart, all that he is. We at KabU will continue with the method as we teach it, and there are many other places, as it’s said, there are many ways to the Creator. And the good news about the latter approach is that you do come to understand while you’re still alive whether you’re on the right path, since the result must come while you’re still alive, and the sages write about it that 5 years are sufficient to have already seen a good sign, to check and see if one is on the right path or not, or as Rabbi Yosi says, that even 3 years are enough to see a good sign. I therefore I wish you luck, as all are meant to attain the Creator, the goal of life.
If a person is religious and happy there I recommend he stay there, under one teacher, and do that teacher the honor of following just his teachings. Here we follow a different method. It’s not about who’s right. If you want to be right rather than learn what’s being taught, you should find one place where you want to learn and stick to that one place, and not think you can take from each teacher what you decide is true, since the attainment of the wisdom is predicated on the idea that the teacher should have entered the spiritual world and know what it takes to do so and what is maybe not needed for that. And different teachers say different things seemingly. So it’s up to the student to choose his place. But choose just once. And once he’s chosen, he has to put aside his former understanding, and replace his concepts with those of the teacher. That’s what it means to be a student. And a person has to search until he finds a place where he can be a student.
