Usually – not good to speak “from the heart”. To reveal what’s in my heart? – What’s in there besides egoism? Better to make a calculation: now – calculatedly – I am revealing x, y, and z because of such and such reasons. And not that I just reveal what’s in my heart because it is there in my heart and wants to come out. No. Nothing gets out without an intention for why I should bring it out. The reason can never be me. The reason has to be because it would bring contentment to that which is outside me.
It won’t be called a World if it’s just further details of the world I’m in. No, the birth into the spiritual world is as dramatically different as the birth from the womb into our world. First I develop senses with which I start to hear and feel and even see that there is – though it’s concealed from me still – a world beyond my black bubble. And then, dramatically, I get born into that new world. All other little prior discernments are just psychological understandings about the black bubble I’m already in. That’s not to disregard such discernments – those are what all the sciences and psychology are engaged in – they’re just not yet belonging to the Upper World that Kabbalah speaks of.
We don’t need to worry much about what actions we are doing. We just need to continue towards the spiritual goal. If we’re persisting in the study, then the Light works. If I can feel myself in front of the Creator that stands behind everything, during everything I’m doing, then I’m really moving towards the goal of life.