Let me know if I’m missing something, but the courses with Julian are self-paced. After finishing those you enter the grad program where there’s 3-4 optional live classes per week.
The gate of tears is one of immense joy. All the other gates are closed, and when I reach the gate of tears, it’s a true prayer. Before, I was trying, but it wasn’t yet a true request, and so the Creator couldn’t answer.
Being saved from one’s state, which I realized was hopeless. Like one who doesn’t want to pick up his luggage and asks someone to help him, will not get help; but one who already has the luggage on his back and is about to drop it – if he asks for help, most would be willing. The Creator helps when I’ve done what I can, and then request help.
The Restriction (Tzimzum) is the resolution never to receive in order to receive again. The (Screen) is the intention, the extent of one’s ability to receive in order to bestow.
The desire to control the Creator – in that He wants to bestow to my desire to receive and thus it’s as if I’m controlling Him – is the ultimate Will to Receive. I’m not yet thinking how to bestow to Him, but that now it’s as if I’m the ruler and He is my subordinate.
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