After reading the first two chapters of “Attaining the worlds beyond” I got a very unsettling feeling. There are either absolute righteous or the absolute sinners. I am not an absolute righteous of course, which means that I am an absolute sinner. Is my understanding correct? I struggle to accept it. I spent so much time to learn to love and appreciate myself as I am, to understand my fears and work with them, to try and see the positive in everything I see around me. But is my goal now to completely nullify myself because all I am is ego which is evil? What am I missing? Why does it not feel right?
I hope that the course will help me understand better myself, other people, the world. I reached the point of my life where nothing makes sense. I feel unsatisfied, angry, misunderstood and many other negative emotions. I don’t want to live like this. I want to be happy and in harmony with myself and the world.
Hi my name is Lana. I need to know and understand more: the people, the world, and, ultimately, Hashem. Even if it is impossible to know anything at all with my mind, maybe it will help me to listen to my soul.