I want to know and feel how to actually do this, how to actually work outside, above, my ego. It seems everything I can think of that could be “Altruistic” And giving to the Creator is really just a more evolved form of egoism, and I hate it. I want to be able to work above that in my everyday life.
Is our “Free will” Choice to change environments predetermined? Maybe I am just being difficult, but from my point of view, it seems anything that is predetermined only gives us the illusion of free choice.
If I am destined to climb the latter of spiritual degrees, then every step along the way has been planned. I’ve been reading that everything in my whole life, down to the meal I eat, is predetermined by the creator. So I really don’t have any choice at all. I am okay with this, but it does make it confusing when first the Kabbalists say that EVERYTHING is predetermined towards a set goal, and then go to say that we have the freedom to choose the environment. It doesn’t really follow.
I understand how working in the right environment can nourish growth when working with like minded individuals. Maybe i’m getting hung up on the terminology
If the creator is what places us in our environment, then it isn’t really any choice of mine is it?
I feel like factor 4 is just a repeat of factor three. Factor three is saying that the manner of soil the essence, the wheat, is in will have an effect on the development of the wheat.
The fourth factor is saying the same thing but implying that we have a choice as to the soil we find ourselves developing in. Is this not also predetermined by the creator?
I think the whole free will is a tricky thing. I don’t think we really have freedom of choice in the way we normally think of it. Every choice I make is the result of a desire that I have. I have not chosen any of my desires, they arise in me. I don’t choose the people I get to interact with, or the thoughts that come to me. I feel like I am just on a ride moving along a track outside of my control and I can only observe.